A place for jokes 'n stuff

Try to keep it somewhat clean and reasonably PC

Moderators: Hocrest, Myxalplyx, Huck369, Moodybluesr, grossgary, john in KY, SUBBYRU89, austinXT6

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Hocrest on Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:49 pm

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied...... 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.
Dave
-86 Brat ~ Rebecca
-92 SVX LS-L ~ Princess
-03 Baja ~ OutBrat
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby SubaruJawn on Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:14 pm

Your Momma's So Fat,
she uses Paper towels for Toil Paper ! :lol:
-Jawn
1989 Subaru XT-6 5 Speed MANual Transmission All Wheel Drive Known as Scubert.
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby sikend667 on Mon Dec 03, 2012 11:35 pm

45 SAYINGS THAT SHOULD BE ON BUTTONS
Bonus -- 25 Sayings That Should Be On Women's T-Shirts


1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
5. Do I look like a freakin' people person?
6. This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
7. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
8. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
9. You! Off my planet!
10. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
11. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
12. Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
13. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
14. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!
15. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
16. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
17. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
18. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
19. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
20. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
21. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
22. Better living through denial.
23. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
24. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
25. Adult child of alien invaders.
26. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
27. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
28. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
29. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
30. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
31. Back off! You're standing in my aura.
32. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
33. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
34. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
35. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
36. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
37. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
38. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
39. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
40. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
41. I plead contemporary insanity.
42. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
43. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
44. Meandering to a different drummer.
45. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

25 Sayings that Should be on Women's T-Shirts

1. So many men, so few who can afford me.
2. God made us sisters; Prozac makes us friends.
3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
4. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all.
5. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
7. Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.
8. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
9. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
10. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
11. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
12. I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.
13. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
15. I hate everybody...and you're next.
16. And your point is...?
17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
18. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
19. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
22. All stressed out and no one to choke.
23. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
24. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
25. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.


some of these may be repeats but i tried lol
Sorrow Six Star wrote:I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.

crazyhorse_001 wrote:
Sorrow Six Star wrote:Only thing coming up is my Badcock and more credit bill..... Badcock ain't cheap.


Ya know, you'd think it would be. LMAO
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby crazyhorse_001 on Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:42 pm

'Nuff said...
Attachments
100MEDIA36IMAG0164.jpg
Nought but by the grace of God
Don't run out of talent, grip, and road all at the same time
'88 XT GL FWD/5spd, Gunmetal Grey "Little Bit"
'91 XT6 FWD/4eat, Silver, lost the battle with the the rust monster
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby sikend667 on Wed Mar 20, 2013 6:31 pm

crazyhorse_001 wrote:'Nuff said...

LMFAO wow do you know where that place is?
Sorrow Six Star wrote:I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.

crazyhorse_001 wrote:
Sorrow Six Star wrote:Only thing coming up is my Badcock and more credit bill..... Badcock ain't cheap.


Ya know, you'd think it would be. LMAO
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby crazyhorse_001 on Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:08 am

sikend667 wrote:
crazyhorse_001 wrote:'Nuff said...

LMFAO wow do you know where that place is?


Yes, yes i do. Its on the main drag in my little bible belt town lol
Nought but by the grace of God
Don't run out of talent, grip, and road all at the same time
'88 XT GL FWD/5spd, Gunmetal Grey "Little Bit"
'91 XT6 FWD/4eat, Silver, lost the battle with the the rust monster
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby sikend667 on Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:56 pm

well i know where im going for vacation LMFAO
Sorrow Six Star wrote:I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.

crazyhorse_001 wrote:
Sorrow Six Star wrote:Only thing coming up is my Badcock and more credit bill..... Badcock ain't cheap.


Ya know, you'd think it would be. LMAO
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Sorrow Six Star on Sun Mar 24, 2013 12:34 am

I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.
1988 Subaru XT6 XT22b project
1988 Subaru XTGL undisclosed swap project.
1992 Subaru "Leone" (Loyale Sedan SPFI)
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby crazyhorse_001 on Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:06 pm

Sorrow Six Star wrote:I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.


Im not gonna touch that LMAO
Nought but by the grace of God
Don't run out of talent, grip, and road all at the same time
'88 XT GL FWD/5spd, Gunmetal Grey "Little Bit"
'91 XT6 FWD/4eat, Silver, lost the battle with the the rust monster
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby sikend667 on Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:32 am

Sorrow Six Star wrote:I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.

^^^^that is totally going in my signature
Sorrow Six Star wrote:I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.

crazyhorse_001 wrote:
Sorrow Six Star wrote:Only thing coming up is my Badcock and more credit bill..... Badcock ain't cheap.


Ya know, you'd think it would be. LMAO
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Sorrow Six Star on Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:51 am

Lol.
1988 Subaru XT6 XT22b project
1988 Subaru XTGL undisclosed swap project.
1992 Subaru "Leone" (Loyale Sedan SPFI)
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby sikend667 on Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:14 pm

i always wanted an awkward quote in my sig thank you sir for providing lol
Sorrow Six Star wrote:I have a Badcock and more credit account. Nice furniture.

crazyhorse_001 wrote:
Sorrow Six Star wrote:Only thing coming up is my Badcock and more credit bill..... Badcock ain't cheap.


Ya know, you'd think it would be. LMAO
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby natext6 on Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:43 pm

sikend667 wrote:i always wanted an awkward quote in my sig thank you sir for providing lol


It seems like Mr. Drew comes up with a fair number of these :lol:
1988 xt-6 - Icarus
-2007 3.0L EZ30r
-1997 STI 5 speed manual Transmission
*Currently awaiting engine wiring and exhaust.

Get ready for some AVC-Awesome.
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Sorrow Six Star on Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:17 pm

Only thing coming up is my Badcock and more credit bill..... Badcock ain't cheap.
1988 Subaru XT6 XT22b project
1988 Subaru XTGL undisclosed swap project.
1992 Subaru "Leone" (Loyale Sedan SPFI)
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Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby crazyhorse_001 on Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:45 pm

Sorrow Six Star wrote:Only thing coming up is my Badcock and more credit bill..... Badcock ain't cheap.


Ya know, you'd think it would be. LMAO
Nought but by the grace of God
Don't run out of talent, grip, and road all at the same time
'88 XT GL FWD/5spd, Gunmetal Grey "Little Bit"
'91 XT6 FWD/4eat, Silver, lost the battle with the the rust monster
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