A place for jokes 'n stuff

Try to keep it somewhat clean and reasonably PC

Moderators: Hocrest, Myxalplyx, Huck369, Moodybluesr, grossgary, john in KY, SUBBYRU89, austinXT6

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Hocrest on Thu May 28, 2009 9:53 pm

Here's a little trick I learned back during my internship in college, then documented one bored night last year.

It's a great help if you can't find any pron on the web... :roll:
Just grab a pound of butter and a pair of scissors :shock: :shock: :lol:

http://picasaweb.google.com/hocrest1/Bu ... directlink
User avatar
Hocrest
Veteran
 
Posts: 2417
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2003 9:02 pm
Location: Cressona, PA

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby subeman90 on Fri May 29, 2009 5:15 am

*giggle* :lol:
Matt
13 Crosstrek :D 07 Corolla CE ;) 07 Trek 7100 (x2) :)
SubaruJawn wrote:i dont think cuz i got beat up alot in my school days.
User avatar
subeman90
Guru
 
Posts: 3298
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:14 pm
Location: Akron PA

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Jeffast on Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:45 pm

lol
in between failures
shawnw wrote: Jesus Christ Jeff this is why you cant have nice things

91 xt6 just enough eg33
99 mazda miata
this statement might have lent more authenticity if you had pants on
subeman90 wrote:I always cry after sex.
User avatar
Jeffast
Post-itute
 
Posts: 3760
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 6:53 pm
Location: plundering phils special booty

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Fury on Sun Jun 14, 2009 12:04 am

Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....



2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia.



2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian Horse racing industry.



2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.



Has any one else noticed this?



It gets worse...



next year...



2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong? :shock: :shock:
Chris'88 WR XT AX7 Turbo 4WD, 5 speed,
Full EJ20T WRX Running gear,
Full 3" exhaust. Jap spec ECU, TMIC,
Gen III GT brakes + Eibach coilovers 5 lug swap & kit(http://www.crossbredperformance.com) with 17"STI rims... and other great stuff
User avatar
Fury
Guru
 
Posts: 2210
Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:05 am
Location: 1hr Nth of Sydney, Australia

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Sorrow Six Star on Sun Jun 14, 2009 1:38 am

^^lol


so...

A pitbull, a doberman, and the Taco bell chihuahua walk into a bar.
they get a table.
this fine-ass border collie walks up and says, "if you can creatively use liver and cheese in a sentence, then you can take me home"

the pitbull instantly blurts out, "I love Liver and cheese!"
the collie rolled her eyes, "not good enough"
the doberman replies "I hate liver and cheese"
again the collie rolls her eyes.

the chihuahua hops on the table and look at his two buddies, and says,

"liver alone cheese mine!"
1988 Subaru XT6 XT22b project
1988 Subaru XTGL undisclosed swap project.
1992 Subaru "Leone" (Loyale Sedan SPFI)
User avatar
Sorrow Six Star
Veteran
 
Posts: 5332
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 12:36 pm
Location: Alabama

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby kingbobdole on Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:51 pm

hehehe
Look at #4....
~Phil
EZ Cheeze
FWD magic SVX
Fe Coupe
Rust in the shape of a BRAT
Alfa Romeo GTV
Motorless Impreza sport
TURBO! bike
Da Rune

SubaruJawn wrote:Does yellow really do that ?

subeman90 wrote:LeBaron.

austinXT6 wrote: It's a little doo-dad that sticks up an inch or so
User avatar
kingbobdole
Cheesy monarch
 
Posts: 6607
Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2004 3:47 am
Location: Way to close to Jeff

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Turbone on Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:41 pm

While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purples spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it.'

The man looks a little perplexed and says, 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.'

The doctor answers, 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.'

The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.'

The doctor replies, 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice.'

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.'

The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!'

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid American docttah, always want to opawate. Make more money dat way. No need to amputate!'

Oh, Thank God!' the man replies.

'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!'
Hocrest wrote:You can dress up a turd and shoot it out of a canon.... It's still just a turd, going fast and wearing a suit... :P
User avatar
Turbone
Guru
 
Posts: 2207
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 10:12 pm
Location: Bonney Lk, Washington

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Turbone on Sat Aug 08, 2009 11:41 am

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed. "Are you sure!" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead." replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested..".I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on his haunches, shook his head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely 100% certifiably a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
Hocrest wrote:You can dress up a turd and shoot it out of a canon.... It's still just a turd, going fast and wearing a suit... :P
User avatar
Turbone
Guru
 
Posts: 2207
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 10:12 pm
Location: Bonney Lk, Washington

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Simply Nuts on Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:49 pm

1994 Black SVX
1992 Pearl SVX #2394
1986 Black XT Turbo FWD http://subaruholic.co.il/attachment.php?attachmentid=3219&d=1269715209
1986 Red XT Turbo FWD
1986 White XT Turbo FWD

Erez
User avatar
Simply Nuts
 
Posts: 218
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:34 am
Location: Haifa, Israel

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Huck369 on Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:24 pm

Love that commercial !
I remember it from back when it was on TV (man I'm old :oops: )
Huck
Subaru Ambassador
88 XT6 5-Speed(Project Car)
08 Outback Wagon
92 SVX LS-Tour (Yellow AWD 5-Speed)
09 Forester X Premium
The Creator of FrankenWedge
User avatar
Huck369
Moderator
 
Posts: 15559
Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2002 9:34 am
Location: Somerset, KY

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Simply Nuts on Fri Sep 18, 2009 7:48 am

I found another funny commercial :

1994 Black SVX
1992 Pearl SVX #2394
1986 Black XT Turbo FWD http://subaruholic.co.il/attachment.php?attachmentid=3219&d=1269715209
1986 Red XT Turbo FWD
1986 White XT Turbo FWD

Erez
User avatar
Simply Nuts
 
Posts: 218
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:34 am
Location: Haifa, Israel

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby TomRhere on Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:10 am

Two sisters , one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.


Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul
it home.'


The brunette arrives at the man's ranch with $600, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'


The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull,
the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.


After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'


The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'


The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.
Tom
'82 BRAT GL; under going surgery
'85 BRAT GL
'88 GL-10 Wagon
TomRhere
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2003 5:40 am
Location: Hillsdale, Mi

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby DrSalt on Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:52 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEteKy20tVU

8 SMERT PEOPLEZ (some cussing in the video)

Image
DrSalt
 

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby SUBBYRU89 on Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:44 pm

How to be cruel to old guys:
AARP Eye Chart
Attachments
funny.jpg
1989 XT6~Pearl White(JuiceBox)
1992 SVX LS-L~BoverP(PeeJ)
2003 Baja~Blue (Outbrat)
User avatar
SUBBYRU89
Siren of the Pleades
 
Posts: 2305
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 11:10 pm
Location: Old Boston, PA

Re: A place for jokes 'n stuff

Postby Hocrest on Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:04 pm

Image
Dave
-86 Brat ~ Rebecca
-92 SVX LS-L ~ Princess
-03 Baja ~ OutBrat
User avatar
Hocrest
Veteran
 
Posts: 2417
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2003 9:02 pm
Location: Cressona, PA

PreviousNext

Return to Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests

cron